We always think we know best until we are shown otherwise.
I always want to believe that major life changes were â€œmy idea.â€ Itâ€™s either the last vestiges of pride or just that I want to jump off my own cliffs and begin my own adventures. It’s that darn independent spirit. I want to believe that insight I act on is not just because someone else said so, it was something I believed in. Something I discovered.
Even if someone else discovered it first.
That said, the circumstances, experiences and advice from others has keenly shaped my life and perspective. It’s their wisdom and their influence that provided me with growth (and growing pains).
So many people I know are hesitant to give their opinions on personal matters because they feel no one wants to hear advice. Fewer still take advice from others. So why am I bothering to fill a site with what amounts to advice – to a person who no longer exists – my former self? Because Iâ€™d like to give anyone else who reads an advantage I didn’t have – the benefit of my experience and a greater chance at getting ahead of hurdles and hinderances. I figured Iâ€™d write about what I’ve absorbed and just might learn something about myself in the process – accelerating my own growth.
Just as learning a principle in math isnâ€™t useful until we know the practical application, I spent a great deal of my life hearing phrases like â€œdonâ€™t be a victimâ€ without knowing how to apply it to my own life. Concepts like insecurity, baggage and drama were mostly ideas. And they were always easier to recognize in others than in myself. Understanding how these things developed and how to avoid them wasnâ€™t immediately apparent. Practical definitions and real life experiences brought these principles to light for me – but I also had to live through them. It wouldâ€™ve been great if these things were illustrated for me at an earlier age. Not so I could avoid the pitfalls and potholes of life – some of that is unavoidable. But so I had greater understanding, absorbed more growth and learning from every situation, repeated patterns less – or not at all.
When we approach life with the wisdom that usually only comes with age, our perspective is more peaceful and knowing. We approach situations differently. Outcomes are are more in line with what we need and want. And, consequently, we need and want different things.